Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
