I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
birth control should be required to get into college
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
