I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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