Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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