Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
