I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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