Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
