WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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