I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
