Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
