do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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