Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
