its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
