So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
