If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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