My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
