He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
