it's like iHOP with fire
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
