yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
