Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
