So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize