What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
