We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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