It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
whose parrot is this?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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