If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
whose parrot is this?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
