rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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