I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
