What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
two words...techno handjob
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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