We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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