shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
