I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
