you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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