i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
