So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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