i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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