my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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