i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
