if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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