I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
