therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
