i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
