I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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