I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
