I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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