I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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