The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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