Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
