we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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