Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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