I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
