i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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