How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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