Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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